How to be a Canadian

♪ ♪ Announcer:Follow these steps and you,too, can be like us, eh? Still workingon the rigs? No, I got laid off.

If you don't get to work,you're not coming to the Burr, you greasy Bluenoser! There's always next year.

Dude, I gotthe munchies.

Can we get sushi? [French accent] Ey! I've gone and spilled themustard on my favourite shirt! ♪ on the table ♪ Announcer: Pay tributeto our fallen soldiers by gently stabbingyourself with a poppy.

Oh sweet, Timbits! Oh, great, you guys ateall the good ones again.

Ah! Ugh! Ah! [dial tone] Argh! Ugh, you should reallytake off that poppy.

This poppy? No, I can't takethis poppy off.

You see, our forefathers,they sacrificed their lives for the rights and forthe freedoms that we enjoy to this day.

The least I can do is wearthis one little flower for.

For.

♪ [bugle] ♪ ["Body Break" theme] ♪ Body break get moving ♪ Yo, can I trade you ketchupfor all dressed? Sure.

[singing along]♪ SleepCountry Canada ♪ ♪ why buy a mattressanywhere else? ♪ Ding! ♪ drugs drugs drugs ♪ ♪ which are goodwhich are bad ♪ TV Announcer:The North American House Hippo is found throughout Canada andthe Eastern United States.

How come I've never seena House Hippo? Have you seena House Hippo? TV Announcer:.

Andthey're rarely seen.

♪ [rustic] Announcer: Try your hardestto push the middle out of a toonie.

Ah, she'll go.

Give me a try, eh? ♪ ♪ Cool.

Wait.

Isn't defacing money illegal? Police: Come outwith your hands up! Police: Come outwith your hands up!Police: Come outwith your hands up! Announcer: Love yourCanadian celebrities.

[sighs] Oh Justin,you're so dreamy.

Everything about youis so hot.

Your hair,your tattoo, your powerful elbows.

♪ [sultry] Suzie, come quick! The Barenaked Ladiesand Gordon Lightfoot are on George Stroumboulopoulos! Wait a second,what are you doing? uh, just doingmy social studies.

I'll come join youon the chesterfield.

♪ ♪ Announcer: Respectthe Canadian legal system.

♪ ♪ Hey there, fellas.

Oh shoot,it's the RCMP! That graffiti there isin direct violation of section 22B ofthe Official Languages Act.

English and French, please.

Merci! Bonne nuit, les boys! Announcer: Recognize thatwhether you love or hate hockey you'll probablyget drunk because of it.

And that's why I'm wearing greenand this beautiful hat.

Oh! They're talking aboutDon's clothing, drink! Kids, when you– Drink! Sedin, and we've got to goquick, we've got 1:45– They're runningout of time, drink! It's a gimmick,it's the same thing– Oh yeah, he's doingthe piano thing.

Drink, that's two,that's two.

M-m! It's two! When you don't wanta dog to kill chickens, hang a chickenaround its neck, he'll nevertouch it again.

Everyone finishyour mickeys.

What? I thought wewere drinking 2-6s.

Announcer: Learn the Canadianversion of American things.

Announcer: Take advantageof free health care.

Hey, did you hear they madeO Canada gender neutral? What, you mean, likechicks can sing it now? How's she look, boys? How's she look, boys?How's she look, boys? Get on andgive 'er, bud! [loud motor] ♪ ["Body Break" theme] ♪ Body Break ♪ So it looks likeyou're already covered for your cast, your CT scan,and the new titanium leg.

The only remaining balanceis $17.

38 for the crutches.

$17? Sorry, but I'll be speakingto my local MP about this! Announcer: Understand the metricsystem half the time.

Welcome back to "Who WantsTo Win A Million, Eh?" Are you ready foryour final question? Yeah, let's give 'er.

For one millionCanadian dollars.

Is it A, 40; B, 80;C, 65; D, 200? Oh, I don't know.

I don't know kilograms.

Now remember, you can earna bonus lifeline by listening to one Nickelback song in its entirety.

[exhales] I thinkI'm going to walk.

Announcer:Never accept substitutes for real maple syrup.

Whoa! You're not goingto use that crap, are you? Yeah.

Tastes nothinglike the real thing.

Whatever,it's all the same.

Mr Russell, that'sthe third time this month.

I'm going to have to writeyou up for contraband.

Can't you justgive me a warning? Sorry.

20 hours ofcommunity curling? That's likemy whole weekend.

Announcer: And finally,know the difference between a goodand a bad poutine.

Little boy, what seemsto be the matter? My poutine.

Your poutine, what's wrongwith your poutine? The gravy wasn't hot enoughto melt my cheese curds.

Oh, my God.

I swear on the ghostof John A.

MacDonald I swear on the ghostof John A.

MacDonaldI swear on the ghostof John A.

MacDonald that we are going to find outwho did this to you and when we do,we are going to file.

a formal complaint.

Announcer: What did we miss? leave a comment in the commentssection below, eh? ♪ [O Canada].

Source: Youtube